Happy as a clam.

“In an effort to get people to look into each other’s eye more, the government has decided to allot each person exactly one hundred and sixty-seven words per day. When the phone rings, I put it to my ear without saying hello. In the restaurant, I point at chicken noodle soup. I am adjusting well to the new way. Late at night, I call my long-distance lover and proudly say: I only used fifty-nine words today. I saved the rest for you. When she doesn’t respond, I know she’s used up all her words. So I slowly whisper, “I love you” thirty-two and a third times. After that, we just sit on the line and listen to each other breathe.”